Would a financial company with different kinds of projects and hierarchy been more interesting for you? I cannot stress enough how wonderful therapy has been, and I had been feeling a lot of the same things you are mentioning in your comment. When people cross-examine me it usually turns out that my “every / always / never” statements are more about my own lens than reality. Now the fact that I only applied to one law school and wasn’t remotely clear on what I wanted from law school might have been an indication I didn’t really want to go – but at the time it was just embarrassment of not getting in. I remember this being a rocky transition for me around the time I graduated undergrad. I speak from personal experience there and I’m sooooo glad that I took some time, took a step back, and admitted that what I thought I wanted to do for so long just wasn’t a good fit. She’s the QB on her flag football team, and they’ve never lost a game (40 wins and counting). Problem solved!!! Now well advanced in my career I think about a bad time back then and go “I wasn’t good at that at all, of course they were unimpressed and grouchy when I effed up XYZ.”. My eldest son was gifted and talented all through primary school, coasted through most of secondary school, but struggled when he got to GCSE age (14/15). (Gee, I sound like a turd!). I live in London, but I am a foreigner and I have to fully support myself. I really needed to hear this today, and am tucking it away for future use. So my only job was literally to retain something. You may be wondering, what do I do now? Every now and then I wonder if I could do something differently to make more money but I often land in offshoots of my current field when daydreaming. Wow, I’m getting flashbacks to high school here . If you’re not okay with that, then it might mean coming to terms with the reality that you’ll need to push yourself to approach work with more initiative and drive. OP – If your “mentor” didn’t like you, it’s very likely that you did not receive an offer based solely on this person’s opinion. This was back in the 70s so the theory and practice of education were different, but I still wonder. I didn’t have to study until I took an organic chemistry class in university (and that seriously sucked and did not go well). Thanks for the advice Bookworm. Generally, you are offered a full time employment once your internship period is over and sometimes it depends on the policies and requirements of the company. When time was running out and I had to apply to second priority companies, I still sent out at least 3 cold emails to professionals on the same team as the job listing. Your internship supervisor and college career center will likely have some written assessment to help you evaluate the experience. I didn’t know what was a good fit, and what I wanted to do. Go find that job, rather than pining for the ego validation of an offer for a job you didn’t want from a manager who didn’t want you. Inevitably recruiters are going to ask you in an interview what happened. This is a great example of fixed mindset thinking (vs. Growth Mindset), where you value what you are good at as a measure of your intelligence/worth (and you actively avoid those areas where you struggle, possibly looking to assign blame/responsibility to others). I would study for tests, agonize over papers (I’m good at writing, but I hate writing), meet with teachers for extra help, I studied for the SATs, all of that. I think negative feedback delivered kindly and thoughtfully is easier to downplay. So at a minimum you have to be able to approach your job with curiosity. You just described my high school and early college (lack of a) dating life. In the end, does it really matter? I understand why you’re annoyed/embarrassed by not getting the offer, but try to move on from that and put it out of your mind. YMMV. Sgt_hippo: be glad that your firm is extending offers only 6-8 weeks after the internship: you'll be able to interview with other firms if you'd like to (unless your university has agreements with employers for not giving out exploding offers). (I’m struggling with it right now. Jacquelyn Smith. I was a nice, cooperative kid. I didn’t really see it that way while I was interning there, because I was trying so hard to avoid failure and strive for perfection. This is incredibly wise and thoughtful, and I second your encouragement to OP to find their answer in the large quantity of very specific and informative feedback they got. Looks like my next reading will be ‘Mindset’! YOU CAN DO THIS! OP, you do great work and people want to see more of it. Don’t let it bother you! nearly 90 percent of eligible returning interns received an offer of full-time employment, and nearly 90 percent of those accepted. But I definitely skated through school easily. It zapped my confidence and was a huge time-suck, pulling me away from my interests that could have helped guide my career to some degree as an adult. Hang in there. Ultimately it was the best thing that could have happened. Unfortunately, I did not get a full-time offer after the end of the internship. I would have lowered their precious AP scores averages? I mean, I was good; I had the basic qualifications and was fine in the first round, and I guess I would have taken the job if offered. This. OP – it sounds like you’re saying one thing but feeling another. For all offers extended for summer internships or full-time employment, including return offers, employers should allow a minimum of three weeks from the date of the written offer for students to accept or decline. I was a really bright kid but lost my academic confidence when school transitioned from learning skills to discipline skills. I was lucky enough to have a manager point this out to me. I know it is disappointing and frustrating and perhaps scary. Best of luck! My job dealt with computer programming, so my assignments were based on that and a big group project presentation at the end of the summer. Please be advised that the College of Engineering has issued separate job offer guidelines for students. Of course they wouldn’t want to make the commitment of a full time job. I tried really hard to improve during the second half of the internship. So the fact that they were not offered the job makes perfect sense. You can want to learn everything you can about some slice of your work, or you can want to meet everyone at your location and know what all of them do and how everything fits together. Constantly — and I studiously(!) If nothing else it will help prevent them not knowing what they really *don’t* want until they’re stuck with it.”. Guess how much that’s worth nowadays in the real world. Thanks Stormy. But now I have plenty of company, and that’s just as it should be. Some students will have a part-time internship working at the office for just a few days or hours per week. Would you have been happy doing the same work for a company with different goals? When they didn’t get the job, they were genuinely surprised and even hurt. Growth Mindset is where you view difficult tasks/subjects as an opportunity to learn and improve your skills. (Especially if there’s also a difference between teaching and learning styles here, and the mentor is thinking “You should have already know this because it was in the resources I gave you”, while the intern is thinking “You haven’t taught me any of this so why are you upset I don’t know it) I tested well and because I tested well I had a lot of teachers willing to give me some slack. (Then later they’d try to trick me on the test, but I wasn’t easily fooled). And obviously nobody’s going to hire ole Pinky. In high school I was very overweight and I couldn’t run a quarter mile. Even months later with another full-time offer in hand from a different company, it still bothers me. Not just get an offer period. It’s okay if you’re (say) me and you you’d be terrible at sales to just…not sell things. In fact, it’s unlikely I’ll ever be more than average at Y. Rather than being happy that I was good at English and good at Spanish or whatever, they wanted me to be good AT SCHOOL, which meant being good at everything. You don’t make a job offer to someone you don’t expect to take it just to give them a little confidence boost. It’s not necessarily about opportunity. She read every word, studied hard, and got all of the needed information … just not in class. At the end of the internship, I was given an evaluation by my manager. OP, I think it might help to remember that the goal of an internship is not to get full-time work (despite the correlation between the two). That is it, my friend. Neither of those things are testaments to my work ethic or really even my intelligence, but they helped me get through school (until college, at least) with pretty minimal effort. good to see i’m not the only one having real problems translating academic succes into job succes. But theoretically there’s always room for more friends! OMG yes! I was let go as an intern without much of a heads up – they were clearly unhappy with me (for good reasons!) You might need to scale back your expectations on what sort of feedback is realistic to expect, but it’s good that you’re not writing this off as just a “personality clash” (though that may have been a portion of this, given your experience with the mentor) and are actively seeking out feedback. The firm that I will be interning at this summer hired about 8-10 people for full-time. Are you going to whine and moan and blame your manager or the company or your co-workers? Higher Ed is right on about this – do what is right for you, but do it well. :). Since your internship manager said you’d be a good auditor, I’m going to guess you like things that some folks find tedious (like data analysis) that you are labeling as menial. True, could be either or both. Funny, I had such the reverse experience! And, I want to feel proud of myself and what I’ve done. It’s really opened his eyes to how the way he processes the world with a fixed mindset feeds into his anxiety and depression. I tried this with running. All my life I have worked extraordinarily hard to get where I am today at such a young age. They want great and ideal, plus a little extra, in candidates who would be thrilled to be there. I do think this is probably a more … academic perspective, too. It really affected my mental health. OP, it sounds like their feelings toward you were the same as your feelings toward them, i.e., “This would work if there were no better options.”. The goal of the internship is to walk away with knowledge and experience that you wouldn’t have been able to gain in school. I remember being in a group project once and I was the only girl and so I was expected to write up the classwork and my classmate looked at my handwriting and said, “Oh, I thought you were supposed to be smart.”.
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